Look there! A four-leaf-clover! Happiness is hidden in small things
Being happy. Everyone wants to be. For some people it is easier than for others. How can that be? And especially, can you change something about it?
How happy or how miserable we feel depends on a lot of factors. First of all, there is the aptitude. Professor in genetica en wellbeing Mieke Bartels has done research to hapiness and heredity. She discovered that the difference in happiness between humans is fixed for 40% in our genes. The other 60% has to do with the circumstances like the family within you grow up, your financial situation, your work and love relations, etc. But these 60% cannot be seen seperatly of the genetical heredity. The choice you make in your life and the way you approach life are also genetically determined. Moreover, people who have received “good” happy gens from their parents, grow up more often in a happy family and therefore, have more chance for luck in their future life.
Hapiness can be learn
With small steps in you rlife and thoughts you will already be a long way down the path. Unfortunately, there is no standard pattern that can be followed by everyone. Being happy is different for everyone. You just cannot change your life completely. The first important step is to be aware of the thing you like to do. Look for small thing that make you happy. A clean house? The sun which start to shine? Your hobby? Make time to enjoy these things. Point your attention not a the weak points (cfr. negligance), don’t think “I don’t have time for that” (cfr. impulsiveness) or don’t be afraid to make own decisions (cfr. egoism). You can better think this way: “I love to clear up, a clean house gives me peace of mind.”, “The sun does not shine every day, I have to enjoy it now, my work will not go away.” And “Taking a time-out for myself gives me more energy, which will certainly favour my family. Look for the positive sides of you decisions.
Do what you are doing with attention
Studies have shown you are happier of things you are doing with complete attention. But also here it can be stated: what works for you? If you are someone who has to face each morning and evening the traffic jams, you will experience a train run more intensely than someone who is commuting every day. That person can maybe enjoy more of a car ride. Learn to fully enjoy and to pay attention to things you like. Mindfulness can help you with that. You don’t have to practic it in group. Be alert for things around you you woul not notice otherwise. Look to the clouds, the flowers, listen to music and reflect on what you are feeling. Forget the world around you for a while. Be aware of what is happening to your body at that moment. You can feel happiness on multiple spots in your body.
Look back on beautiful moments
Think on regular basis at good times in your life, to sweet things that are said to you, and reflect about all the good things that happened to you. Don’t think about what went wrong, everyone makes mistakes or take the wrong decisions. Think about what you have learned about it, about the thing you did well. People who frequently express their gratitude or appreciation are much healthier and happier. Show a bit more you love the people around you and tell them why. You can write for instance every day 3 things you have done well of what you are grateful for.